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Goblin Cock
"SO STUPID!!!" bemoans Lord Phallus as he gazes pensively from the curtain wall of his modest stronghold.

"They don't know what they have, nor understand what they can do for one another or how short a time they have to do it in."

Head in hands, the lead singer, guitar-player, and sole songwriter of histories most beloved Comic-Book Metal band knows what must be done.

"I must make a gesture", he says.

"A frivolous gesture, perhaps, but a dear one nonetheless"

Upon snapping his bony fingers, an immense stone murphy bed plummets from a nearby rock wall, immiting all manner of bats, cobwebs, and forgotten paraphernalia until, coughing and wheezing, the auxiliary members of Goblin Cock appear one by one, shaken and disturbed, yet hungry for battle.

"It's the Humans again!" Phallus intones, "they've made it so increasing hard to for themselves to breathe their own air, eat their own food, love the ones they truly love, or generally have a full life without destroying the lives of innocents!"

"But why, oh Lord?" speak his bandmates in chilling unison, "Why must they all live in such obvious denial?"

"Beats me!", Phallus ponders hesitantly, "but instead of risking you all falling back to sleep through boorish philosophizing, lets put out a new record and get back on the road where we belong before they finish turning this lovely blue sphere into a burned out garbage planet!"

"Hooray for that!" cheer his hyper-enthusiastic bandmates.

So, Phallus went to work on his most concise album to date, invoking the spirit of Pure Fun while appeasing his love of Doomed Art.

It is a crushingly brutal Dear John letter to society.

It is a rock falling from space that knocks you unconscious that you, in turn, shove in your pajama pocket for safe keeping upon awakening.

These are songs about True Love.

These are songs about Revolution.

These are songs about 70's Children's Television.

Goblin Cock have delivered an auditory tome of such importance that it needs to be experienced before the Secret Bastards find a way to marginalize it out of existence forever.


It is their gift to us.

Don't squander it.

Goblin Cock
"SO STUPID!!!" bemoans Lord Phallus as he gazes pensively from the curtain wall of his modest stronghold.

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Tour Dates
No future shows currently scheduled.
Responsible Agent:
Tim Edwards