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Terry Malts
I’ve disconnected the doorbell; the phone is off the hook. The post office has been instructed to return all mail sent c/o Box 489 directly back to sender. These extreme actions have not been made in haste. The past year-plus has plum worn me out.

Ever since Slumberland Records lost a bet and released 2012’s Killing Time, it seems that the bored drudges of this outhouse Earth have done nothing but follow that album title’s orders, a.k.a. harass me. (Lord knows the everyday “fan” of these “guys” has nothing better to do). Visitors, calls, letters. Look, I know I’m the only known liaison to the men behind the man, but that doesn’t mean I have the answer to the burning question on everyone’s melon: WHEN IS THE NEXT TERRY MALTS ALBUM COMING OUT?!

Oh, wait, actually I do know the answer to that one! Terry Malts’ brand-new platter, Nobody Realizes This Is Nowhere, is being released on September 10, 2013, once again on Slumberland Records. The official full-length follow-up to last year’s year-end-list-thrashing debut, hot on the heels of two more blistering 7”s in the meantime.

Who are these Nobodies? Where is this Nowhere? The same crack-staff has been employed: Phil Benson (bass, vocals), Corey Cunningham (guitar, throat), and Nathan Sweatt (drums, confusion), recorded by they-damn-selfs in their “San Francisco practice space”, and again mixed by Monte Vallier (Weekend, Half Church). Hey, Parrothead: changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, right? Right! Which is why the Malts tropes you’ve come to know and love haven’t gone anywhere: anger, hatred, exhaustion, delusion, seclusion, consumption, life, death, breathing, eating, and probably some sensitivity or something. It’s all right in front of your earballs!

Considering a stiff breeze could blow your web address over, take this “press-release” as a “warning.” NRTIN is a punch in the gut, a kick to the teeth, a tickle exactly where you want it (wink, wink). This thing is the toupee of your record collection: throw it on top of that embarrassing stack o’ wax by the stereo to instantly transform your reputation.

Look, we can’t do everything to help out you and those of your odor, but giving you this news is a step in the right direction. And this is coming straight from the top floor. Terry Malts’ Nobody Realizes This Is Nowhere shreds. It blasts. It blows (a good thing!). A dynamite record, that’ll prolly say “Play It Loud!” or whatever in the liners. But seriously, folks… listen to this thing and leave me alone!

Terry: just like the days of our pathetic weeks, a name that ends in “why…?”

Terry Malts
I’ve disconnected the doorbell; the phone is off the hook. The post office has been instructed to return all mail sent c/o Box 489 directly back to sender. These extreme actions have not been made... + more bio

Tour Dates
Date Location Venue
04/05/17 Wed Tucson, AZ Club Congress
04/07/17 Fri Austin, TX Barracuda
04/08/17 Sat Dallas, TX Three Links
04/10/17 Mon Atlanta, GA The Masquerade - Purgatory Stage
04/11/17 Tue Charlotte, NC Milestone
04/12/17 Wed Durham, NC The Pinhook
04/13/17 Thu Baltimore, MD Metro Gallery
04/14/17 Fri Philadelphia, PA Ortliebs
04/15/17 Sat New York, NY Mercury Lounge
04/17/17 Mon Allston, MA O'Brien's Pub
04/18/17 Tue Toronto, ON, Canada The Garrison
04/19/17 Wed Cleveland, OH Now That's Class Lounge
04/20/17 Thu Chicago, IL Beat Kitchen
04/21/17 Fri Milwaukee, WI The Cactus Club
04/23/17 Sun Omaha, NE Reverb Lounge
04/25/17 Tue Denver, CO Larimer Lounge with Tim Kasher, Allison Weiss
04/26/17 Wed Salt Lake City, UT Kilby Court
Avails
Generally Available:To Support / Package
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Contacts
Responsible Agent:
Tim Edwards
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